Aliens Want to Scrap!

ALIENS LETS SCRAP T-SHIRT!

In a strange turn of events, it seems that extraterrestrial life has not come in peace, but rather with fists of fury. Yes, you read that right, aliens want to engage in good old-fashioned fisticuffs with humans. And we thought humans were the only ones with a penchant for pugilism.

While it remains unclear why our intergalactic neighbours have taken such a keen interest in brawling, we can only assume they’ve been binge-watching too much Rocky Balboa and are eager to test their mettle against our species. After all, what better way to prove one’s superiority than by bashing skulls and trading blows?

But before we all start lacing up our boxing gloves and oiling up our abs, it’s worth considering the logistical challenges of staging such an event. For one, how would we even communicate the rules of the fight? Would we use sign language, telepathy, or resort to pointing and grunting like cavemen?

Furthermore, how do we ensure a level playing field? If the aliens are significantly larger, stronger, or faster than us, it hardly seems fair. Then again, if they turn out to be puny and weak, we may risk looking like bullies.

And what about the venue? Do we hold the fight on Earth or in space? If the latter, do we need to build a space ring, complete with oxygen tanks and gravity generators? And who foots the bill for all this? Does the losing team pay for the damages, or do we stick the aliens with the tab and hope they have space credit?

As you can see, many unanswered questions about this proposed bout exist. But one thing’s for sure, it’s sure to be one for the history books. So, in the immortal words of Muhammad Ali, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, your hands can’t hit what your eyes can’t see.” Or, in the case of the aliens, your tentacles can’t hit what your antennas can’t detect. Let the games begin!